For those of you who don't know how much Kobe Bryant means to me, let me put it this way: I will NEVER forget where I was when I heard the news that Kobe Bryant passed away. To be perfectly honest, I didn't even know how much he meant to me until he died.
On Sunday, I was in shock; I felt numb. No matter how many times I googled, I didn’t believe the news. Yesterday, I felt a hole in my heart and a lingering lull over Kobe’s Kingdom. It was a feeling of somber peace and calm; not something you can hear or see, but a silent, meditative, and self-reflective energy that was being FELT by different people not only in Los Angeles, but all around the world. Today, I am grateful for the memories, the inspiration, the man, and the legend because Kobe is more than a name, 8 and 24 and more than numbers, purple and gold are more than colors, and Mamba is more than a mentality.
BREAKING NEWS
When I got the news, I was waiting to be seated outside Leo & Lily restaurant in Woodland Hills, CA. I pulled out my phone and had text messages from FOUR different people breaking the news to me. I didn't believe it. I googled an article, then IMMEDIATELY notified my parents and siblings. Even then, I didn’t believe it. Not Kobe, it could be anyone else, but NOT Kobe. It didn’t make any sense.
My mom and sister both called me to ask questions. I didn't have any information beyond the fact that he died in a helicopter accident. My boyfriend thought it was strange that he was in helicopter and I was curious about it too. How often was he in a helicopter? Was this a freak accident?
After more googling, we learned that he used a helicopter more often than we imagined. It was a matter of perspective; it may have been the equivalent of us passing in a car accident. Some of my family was surprised to learn of his helicopter habits as well, much of what we knew about Kobe centered around his life on the basketball court.
I've heard discussions about who is and who isn't the "best" basketball player “of all time”. I think being the "best" is a matter of opinion and FEELING, not statistics and numbers. For me, Kobe Bryant was my favorite basketball player to watch because he made me FEEL.
Man, Mamba, and More
Right from the start, I was enchanted by Kobe Bryant’s physical feats. I felt like he brought something different to the world of basketball. He was creative. I was honored to watch him play both in person and on T.V. I remember thinking to myself, "I'm not watching a man; I'm watching a beast."
I’m talking about a "man" who tore his Achilles's heel during a game and still stood up and made two free throws (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayxIs5Jx_oQ). Achilles, the "strongest" warrior in Athens, half human, half god was brought to death by an injury to his heel and a similar injury did not stop KOBE BRYANT. He defied the odds, defied his mortal body, and had the mind of a fearless warrior. In that moment, I believe he came through for himself, for his team, his city, and he also came through for me.
I remember the excitement I felt when watching Kobe turn up the heat on the basketball court. He seemed especially energetic during crunch time, when it felt like I needed it the most. One memory stands out in my mind: In college, I went to a bar with two of my girlfriends to watch the Lakers take on the Bucks. Admittedly, we were there partly because we all thought Kobe was eye candy, but I witnessed something magical that night. With only seconds left in the game, the Lakers were down by one point. They inbounded the ball to Kobe, he dribbled closer to the basket, then pulled back, and sank the most beautiful two pointer I have ever seen, right as the game clock expired.
A sense of victory came over me, I was filled with emotion. I can't quantify it, but I remember feeling VICTORIOUS and I wasn't even in the game! He was legend in my mind and the numbers didn’t lie either.
If that had been the only buzzer beater of his career, that would have been enough for me to admire him, but it wasn't. It wasn't even the first one that season. He ended the 2009-2010 season with SIX buzzer beaters (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ajNC3W-Dlqk&t=120s). Some players don’t get to experience that ONCE in their lifetime, and here was this "man" with six in ONE season.
In my world, the name Kobe became synonymous with the feeling: clutch. I saw people crumble up pieces of paper, lean back and yell, "KOBE," just before shooting. In my mind, they were calling on his energy and his greatness: his Mamba mentality.
Kobe coined the term Mamba. To him it was the passion that inspired him to commit and dedicate himself to his true love of basketball. It was the fuel that allowed him to keep pushing against the odds. Others players have commented on his commitment to basketball. He would put in countless hours on the most seemingly remedial activities to fine tune his skills in every aspect of the game. The time he spent manifested into a number of trophies, championships, and other forms of recognition.
From Troubled Beginnings...
When I say beginnings, I don’t mean his youth, although much could be said about the trauma he suffered as a child. I’m talking specifically about a time before he changed his jersey number.
In 2003, Kobe Bryant was accused of rape. He became infamous both within and outside the world of basketball because of the “rape case.” I put it in quotes because I believe the truth is somewhere in the middle. I don’t believe he was EXACTLY innocent and I don’t believe that she was EXACTLY honest. If nothing else, Kobe cheated on his wife and that was enough for me to feel differently about him. I don’t remember much about the case, but I do remember watching some of his games during that time.
Because the case took place in Colorado, he occasionally missed games to attend court. Some days, he was in a court of law in the morning and then later on played on the basketball court. I remember taking a mental note of his energy in those games where he had just come from court. I remember thinking to myself, “Man, I bet court went well for him today.”
Sometime after the “rape case” was resolved, I read parts of his statement regarding it. I was impressed that he not only acknowledged, but sympathized with his accuser. I also took note of the “the apology ring.”
At the time, I had mixed feelings about the $4 million ring that he bought his wife, Vanessa, to apologize for cheating. I also had mixed feeling about her standing by his side though infidelity, but now I admire her loyalty and I think the ring was symbolic of him recommitting his love to her in a similar way that he would later recommit to his love of basketball. I do believe that people can learn from their mistakes and recommit themselves to who and what they love.
In my opinion, it’s better that he wasn’t always perfect in every single way, but instead went through a transformation. It humanized him. For me, his personal transformation was equally as impressive as his transformation on the basketball court.
During his 20-year NBA career, I saw people from all walks of life sporting purple and gold Lakers’ jerseys. It felt like the Kobe jerseys outnumbered the rest. Even now and outside of LA, I’m rarely surprised to see a Kobe jersey.
In 2006, he changed his jersey number from 8 to 24. I watched the commercial. I felt like he was recommitting himself to the sport of basketball, recommitting himself to the Lakers and recommitting himself to the city of Los Angeles. Basketball was going to be his love and passion 24 hours a day and he wanted his jersey to represent that. It was also symbolic of the 24 second clock. In basketball that's all you get, 24 seconds to take your shot or forfeit the ball. The hands of time don’t stop for anyone or anything, every second counts, both on and off the court.
One Lakers Family
For me, Kobe Bryant felt like more than just a basketball player who played for my favorite team. At times, he felt like a part of my family. He was on the television in my house almost every night during basketball season. I remember watching him play on Christmas mornings.
Growing up, my dad told me stories about him. One thing that he talked about was how young he was when he entered the league. From the time my dad first watched him play, he knew there was something special about number 8.
The Charlotte Hornets drafted Kobe Bryant straight out of high school at the age of 17, although he never played for them. He was immediately traded to his own favorite team: the Los Angeles Lakers. From the time he was a kid in Philadelphia, Kobe Bryant was a died-hard Lakers fan. He was determined to play for them; so determined that despite 20 years in the NBA, he never played for another team. He knew what he wanted to do from the time he was six years old and he pursued that dream until the very end: one man, one dream, one city, one sport, one team, one passion and one love. He didn’t let anyone or anything stand in his way, not even himself.
He was hungry, hungry for the win, fueled by passion for basketball and a burning desire to be the "best." I identified with him: his victories were my victories; his struggles were my struggles. I felt like it was ELECTRIFYING when the Lakers won, the whole city lit up. Songs have been written as tributes to his greatness, my favorite being, Lil' Wayne's "24," (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hCH-owsrC-A).
Los Angeles belonged to Kobe Bryant; he was the king who ushered in a Dynasty that will never be forgotten.
With such passion and love for basketball, I never knew what I was going to get when Kobe stepped or limped onto that court. Would it be his highest scoring game yet? Or would he get the only points that matter with an “impossible” buzzer beater? Maybe his defense was unstoppable that night or maybe he engaged his time and improved their skills, both individually and collectively. Maybe he had a “terrible” game where he didn’t score any point at all and I felt that too.
Mamba Out
In 2015, Kobe Bryant announced his retirement with a poem that he wrote (https://www.theplayerstribune.com/en-us/articles/dear-basketball). That same poem later won him an Oscar. He was saying fair well to basketball in the most poetic way: a poem.
I was determined to see him play at least one more time. That Christmas, I bought my entire family and my boyfriend and I tickets to Lakers games. He didn’t end up playing the game my family watched, but they saw him on the sidelines. When my boyfriend and I watched him though, he put on quite a show. He absolutely lit up that basketball court. I don’t remember who they were playing, but I remember Kobe scoring 38 points that night! He did what he came to do: absolutely destroy and rebuild the sport of basketball.
Even in his last game, he didn’t go out on empty: he put away 60 points defeating the Utah Jazz 101-96. He scored more than half of the game winning points for his team.
From Accused Rapist to Empowering Women
I didn’t follow his story much post NBA career, but I’ve heard some heartwarming stories about things that he has done, both within the world of basketball and beyond.
One woman on the radio shared a story about Kobe and her disabled son who went to the same swim academy as one of his daughters. She said Kobe was curious about her son’s disability and after explaining his condition, Kobe began meeting up with them before class each day. He would take her son's wheel chair out of the car, lift and put him in it, and they would then walk to call together. She emphasized that to her son, he wasn’t Kobe Bryant the basketball player, he was Kobe Bryant, the dad.
I’ve also heard talk about him empowering women in basketball and even recognizing that some WNBA players could give the men in the NBA a run for their money.
He turned his passion into compassion when he founded Mamba Academy (https://mambasportsacademy.com/) to offer a facility to help others with a passion for sports perfect their art. One of his daughters, who passed away with him, Gianna shared his love interest of basketball. He coached her team at Mamba academy through losses and victories.
Kobe was once asked in an interview what he would change if he had the power to go back and change something in his life. He repeated the question with careful consideration and slight bewilderment. He responded that if he had that power, he would never use it because knowing you don’t get a second chance makes every day that much more meaningful.
The Mamba Vibe
For some, Kobe was the reason they picked up a basketball in the first place, for others he was a dad, a husband, a son, a friend and more. For me, he was my sports hero in a number of ways.
I went to shoot hoops yesterday during lunch on the basketball court outside the gym. I usually take a workout class, but playing basketball ball felt like the right thing to do. I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. A number of other peopled showed up to the court. The mamba energy felt somber, peaceful and poetic.
There were 2 teams playing 4 v. four and a couple of us just shooting around. I felt like we were all on the Mamba vibe; we were in perfect harmony even though we were doing different things. We reminisced about Kobe while listening to music.
I decided that I wanted to try one of his famous shots: the shot over the backboard (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnARpfzVIis). My friend channeled his inner Mamba and swished it on his very first try. I channeled my inner Mamba and missed a number of times, I didn’t count; it didn’t matter; I only knew I had to make it.
I kept trying over and over again. I thought back to my son’s little league basketball coaches’ words, “last shot has to go in.” I thought about how prideful I felt when my son played little league basketball ball for the Lakers. When I finally made the shot, I knew that was my exit (Athena Out). I didn’t immediately exit though, I want to make one of his of his “long threes,” as well. But seriously, I left after that, the last shot was in.
The Mamba Lives On
It feels like something was taken from me, one of my heroes is gone, but his legacy lives on. A man who was being a father and continuing to live out his passion in new ways was killed in a helicopter accident.
Kobe Bryant isn’t just a basketball player; that’s for sure and he wasn’t the only one killed in that crash either. 9 people total died. A family of five became a family of three with the loss of John, Keri, and Alyssa Altobelli. Three children lost their mother, Christina Mauser. Her husband lost his wife and girls at Mamba academy lost their coach. An honorable pilot, Ara Zobayan, lost his life too. Sarah and Payton Chester, a mother-daughter duo also passed away. Gianna Bryant, Kobe’s daughter who shared his love for basketball was also taken. Kobe and Gianna went together. I find some pain in that and I find some comfort it in too. My heart aches for the friends and families who lost their loved ones in that helicopter accident. My heart hurts for the loss of human life, energy and what could have been…
So, hug a Kobe fan, a Lakers fan, a basketball fan and a sports fan; hug your friends and your family. Hug an acquaintance and a stranger for we are all affected by this loss.
Thank you, Kobe, for everything that you’ve taught me and inspiring the mamba in me to write this. This one is for me, my family, my friends, my community, my city, my team and you. MAMBA might be out, but a little mamba still lives in me.
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